The first days home

I've been given a lot of advice from family and friends. I've read a lot of books and articles online all about how to take care of my newborn. The do's and don'ts. What I've really learned is every baby is different and every parent is different. A few things that I do which people told me not to do:

• My son sleeps with blankets. He's typically swaddled in one and covered up with one or two more. 
• When he is swaddled, his arms are free. He loves to have his hands next to his face and even if I tucked them in the blanket tight, he would still wiggle them out. 
• I warm his bottles in the microwave. Shake it up when it comes out and there is no "magical hot spot". 
• He sleeps in our room at night. We have a fan on every night and the room is kinda chilly. Thus, why he has blankets. 
• Sometimes he wiggles himself to his side at night. I don't flip him back to his back. I don't wake sleeping babies! 
• We haven't stayed home to "avoid all the germs". Lets face it, he's going to have to come face to face with those germs at some point. Although, I do keep him away from people that are obviously sick. I'm talking about places like grocery stores and family events.

What I learned about giving birth

Two weeks ago, almost to the hour, I went into labor. My, oh my, how my life has changed since then. I am the mother of the most gorgeous little boy you have ever set eyes on. After over 24 hours of labor there are some things that I  learned which no one told me about.

• When your contractions start; you might not feel any pain, whatsoever. In fact, you may have to pay very close attention to even know you are contracting. Trust your instincts and know your body. 
• Don't let anyone talk you into getting an epidural before you feel like you really need it. Everyone told me I should get one, but I made it to 7cm and lasted over 24 hours from the time of my first contraction with absolutely no medicine. Had I gotten the epidural early on, I would have been stuck in bed that whole time. YUCK! 
• Your bed will have lots of levers and buttons on it, which will make people want to mess with it. Don't let them. The bottom part of your bed breaks off for delivery. You don't want to be dumped on the floor. I wasn't, but it was a fear of mine! 
• Your water may break on its own and when it does the pain sky rockets. There was also no question for me as to if my water had broke. It felt like a fire hydrant flushing. 
• Once your  body is ready to begin the delivery process they will let you start pushing through the pain. No one told me HOW to push. A natural instinct just kicked in. 
• Having  my husband next to my bedside every minute was probably the only thing that got me through it. I needed to know I wasn't alone. 
• Once you start pushing through your contractions, you finally feel like you are getting somewhere, and you are learning to deal with the pain; the Dr. will tell you to stop pushing and to "breathe" through the pain. You will want to punch him in the face! 
• Once the baby is born more fluid gushes out of you. I had no idea there could be so much left in there after the first gush. 
• Holding your newborn and seeing your husband hold your newborn are  2 of the best moments of your life. Don't feel bad for not letting friends and family in right away. We waited over an hour! 
• Your body may shake uncontrollably in the minutes after birth. My Dr. said it was a hormone dump and not to fight it because it would make it worse. 
• Ice has never tasted so good. For some reason your mouth becomes like sandpaper while you are pushing. 

It's really May

May 1, 2012. A day that I have been thinking about for months now. Not my due date, that isn't for 2 more weeks, but the start of May. The month my son will be born. It's unbelievable to me that it's actually here. I look down at my stomach and can't believe how long I've waited for this yet how fast it came. Tomorrow at my weekly appointment I will be checked for the first time and have the option to have my membranes swept which could put me into labor within 24 hours if baby is ready. Am I ready? Physically and emotionally yes. Mentally? I'm not quite sure yet.

Happiness isn't money.

As the summer approaches I have a huge decision to make. The family that I currently work for doesn't need me during the summer. Do I find a summer job or do I try harder than ever to push paychecks together so that I can spend a couple of months with my new baby boy. I know what I want to do, but I don't know if it's what I should do. I don't want to make a decision that could negatively impact my new family, but I want to be a mom. I want to be at home through those first months. We have plenty of family that is willing and ready to watch him for us at any moment, but I want to be there. I just need comfort in knowing that our bills will be paid each month with no worries as to how it is going to happen. Money doesn't bring happiness, but watching a baby boy through all of the changes in his first month of life would bring more happiness than I could even begin to understand.

Five weeks remaining

As we anxiously await the arrival of our first son there are many loose ends to tie up. A room to fill, organize, reorganize, and many what-if's to answer. As I put away all of the baby gifts I can't help to think how none of it will be right when the baby actually gets here. It seems to be in the perfect space now, but once the baby is here will it really be the most practical? Is there a practical place for anything?

I'm also starting to get the jitters. I'm not nervous about caring for a baby. I'm not nervous about the crying, the diapers, the feeding, and the other things that first time parents often worry about. The idea of it changing from  just the two of us to three of us scares me. Change scares me. Change has always scared me though and it always works out in the end, so I know that I shouldn't let it get to me. I'm excited about our family growing, to watch my husband be a father, and to spend all of those irreplaceable moments together. I'm just using these last few weeks to soak in the last of "our time".