Happiness isn't money.

As the summer approaches I have a huge decision to make. The family that I currently work for doesn't need me during the summer. Do I find a summer job or do I try harder than ever to push paychecks together so that I can spend a couple of months with my new baby boy. I know what I want to do, but I don't know if it's what I should do. I don't want to make a decision that could negatively impact my new family, but I want to be a mom. I want to be at home through those first months. We have plenty of family that is willing and ready to watch him for us at any moment, but I want to be there. I just need comfort in knowing that our bills will be paid each month with no worries as to how it is going to happen. Money doesn't bring happiness, but watching a baby boy through all of the changes in his first month of life would bring more happiness than I could even begin to understand.

Five weeks remaining

As we anxiously await the arrival of our first son there are many loose ends to tie up. A room to fill, organize, reorganize, and many what-if's to answer. As I put away all of the baby gifts I can't help to think how none of it will be right when the baby actually gets here. It seems to be in the perfect space now, but once the baby is here will it really be the most practical? Is there a practical place for anything?

I'm also starting to get the jitters. I'm not nervous about caring for a baby. I'm not nervous about the crying, the diapers, the feeding, and the other things that first time parents often worry about. The idea of it changing from  just the two of us to three of us scares me. Change scares me. Change has always scared me though and it always works out in the end, so I know that I shouldn't let it get to me. I'm excited about our family growing, to watch my husband be a father, and to spend all of those irreplaceable moments together. I'm just using these last few weeks to soak in the last of "our time".